Why the royal wedding should be held in Slough (yes, really)

It is often said that the English love an underdog. Slough, the misunderstood Dr Pepper of towns, is just that

The area recently came out on top of a survey of the 25 best towns and cities to live and work in (Alamy)

Finding the right venue for your big day can be tricky and even the royals can get it wrong. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have chosen Windsor Castle for their nuptials this weekend – but only two miles up the road is a far more suitable site.

It has been mocked by everyone from John Betjeman to David Brent, but the modern town of Slough is perfect for this most modern of royal weddings.

Windsor and its castle hark back to a stuffy past – the antithesis of what the PR team have been telling us Meghan and Harry’s wedding will be about. Slough’s castles point to the future: they hold the head offices of Mars and O2.

In his most moving work to date, Ricky Gervais’s most successful character (and Slough’s most famous resident) sang a fitting tribute to the town. He captures some of Slough’s finer points: its equidistance between London and Reading and the fact that it boasts Britain’s largest trading estate. Then, delivering a merciless emotional punch, he informs us that “the station has got a new floor”.

All that’s true – it really is. And if that isn’t enough, there’s more. Slough is actually home to one of the UK’s most successful local economies, with unemployment at a third of the national average. It has a higher than average wage and recently came out on top of a survey of the 25 best towns and cities to live and work in. It’s a vibrant town – one of the very few places in Britain to have a new library.

The village I live in, Datchet, nestles between Windsor and Slough – a rock-and-a-hard place situation if ever there was one.

While Windsor has a theatre offering traditional rep, Slough has a multiplex cinema showing everything from blockbusters to Bollywood. Windsor is full of bland chain restaurants and shops pumping out royal themed tat to armies of bewildered tourists who thought they were going to meet the Queen. Among the locals, Barbour jackets, posh red trousers and self-satisfaction are popular.

But, Slough has a cultural hub and independently run eateries that offer authentic nosh from all around the world. This awards so many options for the wedding reception and catering.

It is near the M4, M25 and Heathrow airport, and has a rail link that gets you into London in 20 minutes, so everyone would be able to get to and from the event easily. Data shows that rainfall is low compared with most of the British isles, so planning outfits for the big day will be a cinch.

But to be serious, I know which area feels most real to me. In fact, for us in Datchet it‘s like having a posh, aloof neighbour on one side and a genuine, warts-and-all family on the other. Windsor is the old lady you smile politely at, while Slough is the one you hang out and have a laugh with.

Slough is a town that represents what Britain is becoming, not what it was. Unlike sleepy, white Windsor, Slough is ethnically diverse and forever up on its haunches. The contrast between the communities has been highlighted recently around the issue of rough sleepers being hassled by the authorities.

Even die-hard royalist blue-bloods were shocked when Simon Dudley, the leader of Windsor’s (Conservative) council, demanded that homeless people be removed from near the castle, complaining of “detritus” in the street. It is a haunting image: the most vulnerable in society being dragged off and hidden to make real life look more like a fairy tale.

In contrast, Tanmanjeet Dhesi, Slough’s (Labour) MP and the first turban-wearing Sikh in British parliament, joined Jeremy Corbyn on a visit to a local homeless charity’s headquarters to meet clients and volunteers. He also spoke at the Slough Sleepout for the Homeless event.

If Harry and Meghan want a genuine wedding, they should embark on their married life in a genuine town. And if we are going to tune in by the millions, it should be for a wedding in a town that represents our country.

It is often said that the English love an underdog. Slough, the misunderstood Dr Pepper of towns, is just that. And that’s why it’s the perfect place for Harry and Meghan to exchange vows.