QUOTE UNQUOTE

For the past 10 years, conventional TV news programmes have been haemorrhaging viewers under 50 at a phenomenal rate - Kirsty Young, Channel 5's news presenter

David Dimbleby presents it. It is part of the Constitution that all major events have to be presented by a Dimbleby - Jeremy Paxman, TV presenter, on the BBC's election night coverage

The one thing I learnt as Margaret Thatcher's chief whip was that there is no limit to the capacity of human beings to absorb flattery - Lord Wakeham

I think you have to be deranged to want to be famous - Colin Firth, star of the film `Fever Pitch', and Mr Darcy in `Pride and Prejudice'

Some might benefit from psychotherapy but we would never suggest that because they would walk straight out of the door - Philip Logan, co-director of the gymnasium favoured by Diana, Princess of Wales, discussing his clientele

My belief is that aliens were not involved in these people's deaths. However we have to keep an open mind - Simon Burgess of the insurance company that underwrote the Heaven's Gate suicide cult for $1m per member in the event of death through alien attack

If yowm saft enuff ter cum dahn 'ere agooin wum, yowr tay ull be spile't - New road sign in Dudley (trans: `If you are daft enough to come down here, your tea will be spoiled')