Quote Unquote

A man so mean that when Help the Aged asked for a donation, he tried to give them Michael Heseltine - Alex Carlile, Liberal Democrat social security spokesman, on Michael Portillo

The Liberal Democrats are the scavengers of British politics. They will do or say anything to secure a bit of influence - Jack Straw, Labour's local government spokesman

We are being out-loonied by the Liberal Democrats - Alan Hope, chairman of the Monster Raving Loony Party

He is good, he is good. He could still be No 12 for England - Steve Tshwete, South Africa's sports minister, on John Major's cricketing abilities

Protectionism is the last refuge of the loser - Douglas Hurd, calling for an extension of free trade during a visit to Japan

I didn't study acting to play a cartoon character - Genevieve Bujold, the first female captain on 'Star Trek', who quit the series after just two days' filming

This is not Inspector Morse, it is not The Bill. We have to deal with the real sordid world as it is - Paul Condon, Metropolitan Police Commissioner, on the inquiry into the murder of Rachel Nickell

Pork, salt, spices, dextrose, flavour enhancer 621, maltodextrin, preservative, sodium nitrite. Not less than 100 per cent meat - Ingredients label on a packet of salami sausage

I suppose some people will call me a dickhead - Leon Gregory, performing arts student and model, after having 'Durex' shaved on to the back of his head for a contraceptive campaign