Alex James: The Great Escape

I'd do anything for an old trout

I want trout. Not a farm so much as a few in the pond. We keep thinking it's going to be OK down there and then the thing springs another leak and empties itself into the Evenlode, the river at the bottom of the valley. The fact that the lake is nearly empty half of the time seems to amuse people no end. It's more interesting somehow, than a straightforward, functioning pond. People who come over can connect with it better. When you show guests perfection, it's boring for them.

I want trout. Not a farm so much as a few in the pond. We keep thinking it's going to be OK down there and then the thing springs another leak and empties itself into the Evenlode, the river at the bottom of the valley. The fact that the lake is nearly empty half of the time seems to amuse people no end. It's more interesting somehow, than a straightforward, functioning pond. People who come over can connect with it better. When you show guests perfection, it's boring for them.

Everyone laughs when they see the lake. It looks like the surface of a Jovian Moon or a slice of brain. But it's starting to get annoying. Hence the trout. Dave came over from next door to advise me: he's got a big flooded quarry on his patch. He said that I should buy a hundred fingerling trout to get started with. But he saw the pond on a good day. It's currently empty and the ditch that feeds it is down to a little trickle. It's hard to see how we're going to fill it. I've got to do something though: there's a pair of mallards nesting on the island in the middle, and I don't want to let them down. We might need to re-excavate the main drainage channel for the whole farm: it's quite an exciting prospect.

It's a very busy time for the countryside. Every nook and cranny has something living in it. Birds are nesting all over the place, like a gas. Every type of species, from tiny whizzing whirling birds to big gliding bombers.All of a sudden there are little creatures everywhere; frogs in flowerpots; untold numbers of rabbits bobbing around. I even saw a lizard. The best thing is the vegetable garden. It is almost magical. It really soothes an aching mind to wander around with a hose giving everything a gentle soaking. It's a bit like cooking really. Very slow cooking. We have a gardener come in one day a week. He's got us started with various vegetables and herbs. My favourite herb is called 'Good King Henry' I've got my eye on that one. It's still too small to have any discernible characteristics at the moment, but I'm already dreaming up recipes for it.

We were in Devon all weekend paying a visit to two of my old buddies from the good old days at Dean Street. They were both cultivating magnificent vegetable patches. One has a full time gardener, the other, who has more time and less money, has developed a brilliantly individual approach to his patch. It's like having children, having a garden, the more time you spend there, the more you get back. Having a gardener is the boarding school approach.

You've got to work out what's right for you. Me, I just sit in the garden dreaming. When I'm not in the garden dreaming, I dream about being in the garden dreaming. Whatever happens it's where I want to be. I guess I've found home.