Travel / Departures: Sod's Law of Travel

THE OTHER check-in queue is longer, but it moves more quickly. Paris is always on the other side of the aircraft. These are two examples of Sod's Law of Travel. I invited you to submit contributions to the genre.

Prize copies of the BBC Radio Collection Just William 3 - 10 Richmal Crompton stories read by Martin Jarvis - go to Kate Roxburgh and Eleanor Hudson for the best selection.

On an aeroplane there is always a child in front who stands on the seat for the whole journey staring at you. There is always a child in the seat behind who spends the journey kicking you in the back. - Clive Ridgeon, Brighton

At the immigration queue in New York, the people in front of you are from the Middle East with an interminable query about their visas. If you splash out on a club class seat on BA you will be sitting next to a steward's mother travelling for only 10 per cent. - Alan Routs, Teddington

The person sitting next to you is: knitting/listening to Led Zeppelin (loudly) on a Walkman/chewing gum/eating crisps (loudly)/airsick or on their first flight. When a coach does a circular tour dropping off people at their hotel, you will be the last in the middle of the night, but the first to be picked up in the heat of the day. Wherever your car happens to be on the cross-Channel ferry you will always be one of the last ones off. - Kate Roxburgh, London

The luggage trolley you select is always in an advanced state of intimate embrace with the one in front and refuses to budge. The film in first class is the one you have wanted to see for months. The one you will see in economy is about the comeback of an ageing Irish singer. - Dr David Uzzell, University of Surrey

The in-flight comedy programme which you find deeply tedious is enjoyed hugely by those around you. Their laughter is insanely loud because they are wearing their headphones. The long-stay car park that is supervised is further from the airport terminal than your home. - Julie Ramsden, Retford

Going to the loo instantly evokes the 'Return to your seat and fasten your seat belt immediately' sign. - Lorna Roberts, London

If you have paid to reserve seats on the train, all the unreserved compartments will be virtually empty while yours is full. The entry price of a museum is inversely proportionate to the museum's size. Only the most useless, trivial and boring captions for the exhibits will be translated into English. The information you really want to read will only be in Hungarian or an equally incomprehensible language. Whatever you are looking for, it is always at the bottom of your rucksack. - Eleanor Hudson, Dunstable

Just as you think you have got a compartment to yourself and the train is leaving the station, someone comes in. That person then takes out a penknife and makes himself some sandwiches with cheese and an evil-smelling central European sausage. The remaining four places in your compartment are then taken by delinquent Italian teenagers off on a canoeing holiday - with all their equipment. - Andrew Gummer, Cheltenham.