Travel: Beam me down Scotty

This week's random co-ordinates chosen by the computer are:

11 10' S 71 5' W

FIRST REACTION

I want my mummy!

COUNTRY & REGION

You are in the remote departmento of Madre de Dios in eastern Peru.

NATURE OF THE TERRAIN

This vast and untamed rainforest stretches out across the even bigger Amazon flood plain. Many Peruvians refer to this place as El Infierno Verde - "the Green Hell".

ALTITUDE

About 360 metres.

NEAREST SETTLEMENT

Just 10 km away are some huts belonging to about 42 semi-nomadic, indigenous tribes people who wear jeans and prefer instant coffee.

POSSIBLE HAZARDS

Among the most irritating jungle hazards are Jiggers. These tiny insects bury their heads in your ankles before slowly rooting their way up to your groin, causing you to itch furiously.

USEFUL LANGUAGES

Since Mobil Oil opened up the region in 1996 the indigenous tribes and their languages have been on the decline. These days Spanish should see you by just about anywhere.

TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER

Economic magician or economic madman (depending upon your politics), President Alberto Fujimori.

LIKELY WEATHER CONDITIONS

This is a tropical rainforest, so expect it to be hot, humid and raining.

REASONS FOR HANGING AROUND

If you're into exotic plants, insects, birds, wild animals and scattered native tribes, then this is the place to be.

GETTING THE HELL OUT OF THERE

In this neck of the woods river canoes are still the easiest way of getting from A to B - or Puerto Maldonado in this instance. Allow two or three days for the 250 km journey down the Rio de las Piedras to Puerto Maldonado city airport. From here you can catch a flight via Cusco to Lima and on to London.