Beam Me Down, Scotty

FIRST REACTION

There's a moose loose aboot this hoose.

COUNTRY AND REGION

You have landed in Western Canada, on the Rocky Mountains in British Columbia. Although the Canadian Rockies are visited by thousands of skiers/hikers each year, it would take the most dedicated outdoors enthusiast to venture to this remote northern area.

NATURE OF THE TERRAIN

Rugged, snow-capped mountains and trout-filled streams. Beneath the timber-line (above which trees cannot grow) thrive fir and spruce forests.

ALTITUDE

About 5,000 feet.

NEAREST SETTLEMENT

A small town called Ware, about 60km south-east, with a population of less than 10,000.

POSSIBLE HAZARDS

The distinct possibility that you will meet some of the local wildlife; black bears, wolves, minks, moose and pumas can all be seen throughout the Rockies (and are not known for their hospitality).

USEFUL LANGUAGES

Although Inuit is used in parts, most people speak English.

TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER

The French Canadian Prime Minister, Jean Chretien.

LIKELY WEATHER CONDITIONS

The average temperature in early August is about 15C - some 35C warmer than the average winter temperature.

REASONS FOR HANGING AROUND

Gold prospecting. Along with neighbouring Yukon Territory and Alaska, this is a traditional hot-spot for striking gold.

GETTING THE HELL OUT OF THERE

The nearest recognisable road is a dirt-track about 50km south of where you are. Follow it until you reach Fox river. Sail down the river and you will eventually come to Prince George, where there is a small airport. From there it is possible to fly to Vancouver, and from there to England.