Creativity

WHY DID the chicken cross the road? To bluff Milosevic as to where the invasion force would cross into Kosovo; to play with the gypsies in the wood; to go down to the seas again (Petra Hollis). Cock-a-Doodle came to town, riding on a pony (J. Cagney). Because Dame Shirley Porter sold its henhouse; in search of cornucopia; to discover the Colonel's secret recipe (Annie Bissett). To watch the one o'cluck news; to find the Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything (Ella O'Key).

To escape from Kiev (Jennifer Moore-Blunt). To go from Hatch End to Cockfosters (Mike Gifford). It saw the sign to Peckham (Matthew White). Or to Eigg (Andrew Duncan). It was the Garvaghy Road; its father and forefathers had crossed it and it had every right to cross it! (TMOG).

It was Chickechnya, the Russian tanks were rolling down the road, and the young roosters were playing a game of Chickechyn.

It was one of the Four Musicians of Bremen, and they had a gig. So Goldberg and McCann could menace Stanley at The Birthday Party (Bruce Birchall). It had double- crossed Al Capon (Brendan J. O'Byrne).

To avoid the Big Issue vendor (Christopher Lee). To open a savings account with Egg (Tony Brandon).

To test the rabbit's theory about headlights (Giles Catchpole). To get the sign on the road island read (Peter Thomas). To "Avenue" Experience (Nigel Plevin).

Because Tim Hen-man serves a superb volaille (Susan Tomes). Because the lollipop lady had just stopped the traffic (Frank Rogers). To run away and join the circus; because it ain't gonna work on Maggie's Farm, no more (R. Dylan).

Because it mistook the road for the International Date Line, and it wanted to get younger (F. & J. Earle). To join the Supremes. To escape 293 choruses of "Ronald McDonald Had a Farm, Ee-I Ee-I Oh!" Why does the salmon swim the river Wye? (Clair Hubble).

Giles Catchpole, Frank Rogers and Christopher Lee each win a copy of Chambers Dictionary of Quotations.

We now seek unlikely product endorsements: e.g. Joanna Lumley: jellied eels? Oliver Reed: Evian? Sophie Rhys-Jones: the "Hello Boys!" Wonderbra? Ideas to: Loki.Valhalla @btinternet.com or write to Creativity, Features, The Independent, 1 Canada Square, London E14 5DL, by 10 June. Results and three more Chambers prizes on 15 June.

Just to remind you that the readers' meeting of 6 June has been postponed.

Unfortunately, Loki has lost all his e-mail files and like Little Bo Peep . . . Can Messrs Fox and Beresford e-mail me afresh, please? The Mind Sports Olympiad, with a pounds 100,000 prize fund, including The World Creative Thinking Championship (question-setter and judge: William Hartston), takes place at Olympia on 21-29 August.

Next week: geographically apt ailments, e.g. colic in Colwick.