Gleesome threesome, or menage a misery?: Like cramming with two excellent tutors

When he was 16, David was involved in a relationship with two older men, Stephen, 30, and Alex, 27, for one year. The older couple cohabited and John lived on his own.

A RELATIONSHIP with two men seemed perfectly ordinary. I was 16, naive and game for anything. I had no hang-ups about it, nor did I think it particularly daring or kinky. It was good fun.

In the beginning I was still seeing other people. Then the relationship intensified and became emotional as well as physical. There were tacit rules. You had to dole out affection equally. We had sex separately when one or the other was away, but the other person always knew and sometimes we all had sex together.

The idea of menages a trois as lustful explosions isn't true. We had a timetable beside the bed for who slept in the middle on which nights. No one wanted to sleep in the middle because you get really hot. They had to buy a really big bed.

After three months the relationship felt very permanent and cosy. You're desired by two people and you desire those two people. The sex was better over a longer period, it was constantly inventive, whereas sex in a one-to-one relationship begins to dip off. It is very hard to get tired of two bodies. And if one person isn't available, the other can always take you out.

I liked Stephen and Alex equally, but jealousies began to emerge. Stephen didn't want me to sleep with other people and I began to realise this wasn't a fun ride. It wasn't just a roller-coaster - it could be a ghost train as well. I hadn't thought about the emotional dynamics.

Stephen and Alex began to have dreadful rows in front of me. I could feel the bond between them, but I also became aware that I was part of a tearing- apart process. There comes a point when there is always one person who wants to say 'stop'. Alex, who resented me, found himself in that position.

I naively thought the whole thing would work itself out, but it didn't. It drifted on for four months until I met someone else who deeply disapproved and was very threatened by the whole thing.

It was an intensive crash course in fantasy and people's sexual desires. It was like cramming for exams and having two very excellent tutors. I would recommend it. I think everyone should try it at least once.

(Photograph omitted)