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Shoe condoms are the latest absurd invention to protect your trainers

Yes, really

Joanna Whitehead
Wednesday 22 May 2019 16:43 BST
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Firebox advertise 'Shoe Condoms' to help keep your shoes safe from STDs (Street Transmitted Dirt)

With festival season around the corner, any sneakerheads feeling anxious about getting their new shoes dirty are in luck.

Online retailer Firebox has introduced a new creation designed to keep new shoes box fresh: the shoe condom.

Yes, you read that correctly. Bearing a striking resemblance to the blue shoe covers provided by swimming pools and building sites to prevent the spread of dirt, these white reusable sheaths are designed with British summertime in mind.

Simply roll the rubbery white sheaths on to your footwear of choice to keep your creps clean and grime free.

Waterproof, dirt-proof, reusable, machine washable and dishwasher safe, the condoms are practical, if not attractive.

The curious invention also comes with a handy resealable pouch in the event users are caught out by bad weather.

Wearers negotiating grimy club floors and sodden festival fields are assured that their creps will remain clean and their gait sturdy: the condoms come with grips on their underside to keep the wearer steady.

Firebox – the online retailer selling the 'condoms' whose tagline is ‘unusual gifts for people with imagination’ – draws a parallel between sexual health and fashion aesthetics in its marketing spiel.

“You may be keeping your c*ck safe, but what about your creps?” it asks potential buyers.

“There’s antibiotics for super-gonorrhoea, but there’s no remedy for getting mud caked into every nook and cranny of your Fila Disruptors. Or worse - try getting those precious Air Max 97s even half as vibrant as they were when fresh outta the box. Impossible. Damn that fabric outer,” it reads.

The accompanying video demonstrating how to use the unique coverings describes them as “easy to apply”, “ribbed for your leisure” and offering “99.9 per cent protection against STDS (street transmitted dirt).”

Head of product development for Firebox, Caitlin Parry, tells The Independent: “Shoe Condoms were created for sneakerheads, fashionistas and festival-goers alike. They're perfect for diving feet-first into the Glasto mud or strolling around the park, safe in the knowledge that your feet are protected. Because nothing can ruin your day quite like messing up your pristine kicks.

"It's all well and good practising safe sex, but what about keeping your brand new, pearly white trainers safe from STDs (Street Transmitted Dirt)? Simply slip these clever wraps on and your footwear will be filth free.

"Firebox wants everyone to #PracticeSafeCreps with this summer's must-have accessory.”

Shoe condoms are available in sizes medium and large at £7.99.

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