I am a Christmas stocking heel

He might love the festive season, but there’s one aspect that Will Gore thinks should sock off

The Christmas stocking: we all know there will be a satsuma in there somewhere (Getty)

Christmas may be a magical dream, but it can also prove to be a logistical nightmare. Putting aside the broad questions about how to accommodate the competing demands of the extended family, the planning of the most granular aspects of the festive season would test even Santa’s renowned organisational skills.

There’s the tree, for example, which must be selected off site to fit a space that you’ve inevitably failed to measure – again. The erection of the thing at the right angle and in the perfect spot is enough to bring the calmest of couples to the brink of separation, and that’s even before you reach the point of decorating it in a way that involves the children while ensuring that they don’t make it look like someone’s vomited tinsel all over it.

Then there’s the Christmas food, probably to be bought or ordered well in advance, stored in a fridge or freezer that doesn’t have any space, prepped on Christmas Eve, and finally cooked in a military-style operation on the big day, to be served on the dot at 1400 hours – just as the cooks are on the verge of a nervous breakdown after being shouted at for the last two hours to come and open some presents.