Well, blow me if it isn't a spanner

One has, of course, to remember that sex isn't the most dignified of pastimes in the normal run of events. If you worry about the way you look while you're at at it you're probably not enjoying yourself enough. So if you see a girl wearing a fake Jean Paul Gaultier bra with metal tassels dangling off the points, try to resist the urge to laugh: she's either having fun or she's making a TV documentary.

Tonight's offering, Fetish (2.15am C4), takes us on a quick spin around the sex object, starting with nicked knickers and pitching up in the more extreme world that brought us the infamous 1990 operation spanner case (an operation so called because anyone who saw the video in question would feel his nuts tighten - don't ever say the police have no sense of humour). Our presenter is Joe Djavadi, who wins this year's "keeping a straight face while wearing restraining straps" award. Joe introduces us to Niki Wolf, the editor of Fetish Times - an elliptical career path if ever there was one - and Misha, a transvestite with some interesting views. "There's no reason," he says, "why a man shouldn't be the submissive partner in any relationship, be it with a man, woman or... whatever." Indeed. And he has more to say: "In this country it's difficult, because of the way that we are socially, for a man to dress up at home and his wife to accept it." Blow me. You mean I should have been hanging out in Saudi all this time?