Our culture has a habit of ‘badgirling’ and Russell Brand was part of it

Dividing women into ‘lovely’ – as Brand described one alleged victim – and ‘bad girls’ just reinforces a hugely damaging stereotype that is widespread on and off our screens, says Laura Barton

Brand was the subject of a joint investigation by The Times, The Sunday Times, and Channel 4’s ‘Dispatches’ (PA)

There were many details in the Dispatches special on Russell Brand that stuck in the mind – blow jobs, bottles of urine, bad taste prank calls. For me, the lingering image has been the text messages the comedian-turned-guru sent to a woman the programme-makers named “Nadia”, shortly after she alleges he had raped her, without a condom, in the hallway of his Los Angeles home. Nadia says she had fled by the time Brand apologised for actions he called “crazy and selfish”. “I hope that you can forgive me,” wrote Brand (who denies any non-consensual sex or other wrongdoing in connection with any of the allegations against him). “I know that you are a lovely person.”

“Loveliness” is a deeply loaded concept for women. The idea that we must be lovely, and remain so, is culturally reinforced throughout our lives – in our literature and our movies, our pop stars and our television screens. It is a defining quality of fairy-tale princesses and Hollywood sweethearts, of the girl-next-door and the good little wife.

“Lovely” means being accommodating, allowing bad male behaviour and not raising our voices. It means being demure, not swearing, or getting legless, or doing drugs or growing too ambitious. It is run through with ideas of sexual purity, with the implication that a woman can be ruined by desire. Across this week I have wondered repeatedly: would Brand have apologised if Nadia had been less “lovely”?