True Storey, by Peter Storey

It's bad boys' week: first in the naughty corner is Peter Storey, who joined Arsenal at 15 in 1961, staying 16 years and winning the Double and 19 England caps.

He was what was euphemistically called a "stopper", hacking down anyone who had the temerity to try to get past him, with or without the ball. Off the pitch, boozing and birding were followed after he hung up his boots by an intermittent life of crime which saw him banged up for counterfeiting, running a brothel and importing porn.

Now living quietly in France with wife No 4, he passes his time honing his culinary skills, but this is a vivid reminder of one of the more rackety eras in the English game.

Then there's little Robbie Savage, Robert to his mum, still peddling his own brand of hairy havoc as captain of Derby. In Savage! (Mainstream, £17.99) he unabashedly owns up to trying to get players sent off by faking injury and to not trying at all when he wanted to leave Birmingham City.

The beautiful game? Not with these two.

Published in hardback by Mainstream, £16.99