Mercedes-AMG G63 car review: One very fast SUV that drives like a small block of flats

To some eyes, they’ve ruined the G-Wagen, turning it into a toy for the super-rich. It remains the fastest way to get up Mount Kilimanjaro or, more realistically, a sand dune in the Gulf

Thursday 08 November 2018 15:37 GMT
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I don’t know who Mercedes used for a copy writer for their new G-Wagen SUV but understatement obviously wasn’t in the job spec: “Wherever the Mercedes-AMG shows its face, it is met with nothing but awe. Its passion, perfection and power make every journey fell like a victory.”

I suppose it’s true because you do see people give it a second glance (not necessarily in awe) when it “shows its face” and every journey does feel like a victory because you’ve managed to complete it without squashing something else on the road, or scraping it.

It’s not a victory for common sense. Like the old model it offers you old-school SUV looks, permanent four-wheel drive, outstanding off-road ability, plus supercar performance from a highly tuned twin turbo 4-litre petrol V8. All for only £140,000, which if you think about it is a saving on, say, buying both a Range Rover and a Porsche. Then again, the folk who buy these tend to have all three.

Basically you feel like you’re driving a small block of flats on wheels. You sit very high up, because of all the mechanical gubbins whirring away underneath and the car has to be so tall to fulfil for its putative purpose of hardcore off-roading, and maximum ground clearance. There are settings for sand, ice and road, plus a range of options for the four-wheel drive system’s differentials. It’s built on an old-fashioned “ladder” frame, which makes it immensely strong. It should last a long, long time.

It goes very fast indeed, though I tended to restrict this to straight lines. Despite the expertise of the Mercedes-Benz engineers and the tuning abilities of the sporting AMG arm, you can’t really defy the laws of physics, but, given that, it doesn’t feel too much like you’re about to topple over. Select “Sport Plus” from the switch in the console and the revs get a boost and the gearing ratchets down.

The beast will sneer and snarl like, well, a sneery, snarly beast. A wolf maybe, or one of those wolf-dog cross-breeds your hear about – semi-domesticated. It certainly has the power to back up its muscular looks. If you were so inclined you could bully anything else on the road. I’d not recommend it, though.

I’ve no doubt the G63 would kill the environment if everyone has one and they used it all the time. However, it is a rare breed, this, and I suspect very rarely used to its full capabilities either on- or off-road. The G-Wagen, as it’s sometimes called, has come a long way. The previous model was really a military vehicle, designed for the Iranian and German armies, way back in the 1970s. G-Wagen is short for Gelandewagen, meaning cross-country car.

It lived up to the name, and vied with the Land Rover as the best off-roader in the world. Now, to some eyes, they’ve ruined it, turning it into a toy for the super-rich. There are lesser, more basic G-Wagens, but the AMG is the high performance version. It remains the fastest way to get up Mount Kilimanjaro or, more realistically, a sand dune in the Gulf. I don’t think many people would favour it as their daily commuter; it is simply too bulky, though with a surprisingly tight turning circle.

It’s very luxurious and they’ve taken the opportunity to update all the tech and engineering to suit modern demands. There’s a new V8, too, and they’ve given it a 60:40 bias to the rear wheels, mimicking a traditional saloon. It handles more assuredly than its processor, and rides better, which isn’t saying that much.

But very carefully, they’ve retained almost all of the old features that made it cult personal transportation. The corrugated roof, doors and sides; the oddly low door handles it needs because it is so high; the chunky indicators planted on top of the wings to protect them from damage when driving through forests: the chunky rectangular wheel arches: the flat windscreen for ease of repair in remote areas; the running boards to help out climbing aboard; the exposed hinges. The doors even shut with the same tinny noise as the old version. Amazing. I suppose the downside to all the chunky retroness is a little whistly wind noise, and I noticed a bit of the trim wasn’t quite secure, a sort of homage to its more basic past.

Inevitably you can’t help feeling that this sort of reincarnation is what Jaguar Land Rover should have done when they halted production of the Defender model last year – simply produced a modernised version that looked almost identical to the famous original, and then loaded it with luxury gear, a fancy v8 and a seven-figure price tag on it. But they didn’t, thus proving that, even today, the British motor industry still knows how to miss an opportunity.

The spec

Price: £143,305 (£155,895 as tested) 
Engine capacity: 4.0-litre petrol; V8; 9-speed auto
Power output (hp): 585 @ 6,000 rpm
Top speed (mph): 149​
0-60mph (seconds): 4.5
Fuel economy (mpg): 21.4​
CO2 emissions (g/km): 299

JLR could also have looked to the G63’s interior style for inspiration for the “new” Defender (one may yet arrive). Again, they have kept a lot of the interior hallmarks – old fashioned door release levers for example, and a big binnacle for the dials (now digitised). But everything in the finest of materials – satinised chrome and dark veneers. There’s the softest of nappa leather seats that will hug you as you go through corners and warm your posterior on a cold morning.

There are instruments for your G-Wagen’s G-force and torque, a nice big satnav screen like on a Mercedes E-Class. So, it’s all rather extreme – luxury, performance, looks, cost. However, in the words of that overexcited Mercedes copywriter, few other cars “make every journey feel like a motorised primal scream”. Even if it’s you doing the screaming at 150mph.

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