Martin Freeman says fathers should not be too hard on themselves on parenting

‘We should relax. We shouldn’t be amazed when it falls down,’ actor says

Martin Freeman has stated his belief that fathers should not be too hard on themselves when it comes to parenting, saying: “We should relax”.

The actor, who plays a stressed father in the soon-to-be-released Sky comedy Breeders, outlined how, in his opinion, it is difficult for fathers to be as hands-on as parents as they would like to be.

When asked whether the current generation of fathers has tried to change too quickly, Freeman responded: “Yes”, describing the way in which he thinks attitudes towards parenting have evolved over the course of several decades.

“Why did we think things had changed so much in 30 years and that we were going to be free of those feelings our parents had?” the 48-year-old said.

“I had a reasonably happy childhood, but neither my dad nor my stepdad, who were both great people, really lovely men, were expected to bring up their kids in the way that we’re trying to bring ours up now.”

Freeman continued, saying that he believes society has “tried to fast forward about 1,000 years in a generation”.

“We should relax. We shouldn’t be amazed when it falls down,” the Sherlock actor affirmed.

In publicity material for Breeders, Freeman recalled how he has observed new parents saying how “amazing” their experiences were, even when going through difficult patches.

“I just noticed that when people ask new parents, ‘How’s it going?’, they always say, ‘It’s just amazing, isn’t it?’, no matter how awful it actually is,” he said.

“I think, ‘When are we going to cut this nonsense?’ Yes, of course, it’s amazing. Once you’ve had kids, that is the reason to be alive, the most important thing in your life. That, to me, goes without saying.

“But what doesn’t go without saying is how angry you are at times. It’s individual, of course, and I can only speak for myself, but I think it needs to be said how angry you are as a parent and how full of this rage that is going nowhere.”

Freeman has two children aged 11 and 14 with his former partner, Mr Selfridge actor Amanda Abbington.

In February, Freeman told The Times that he has on occasion smacked and sworn at his children.

“I know I’m not supposed to do it, but there are so many images about how [parenting] all just has to be brilliant that it makes people feel bad,” he said at the time.

The Children Act 2004 outlines that it is illegal for a parent or carer to smack a child, except if it is “reasonable punishment”.

ChildLine charity founder Dame Esther Rantzen responded to Freeman’s comments, telling The Times: “I would say to Martin, ‘I’m sorry to hear that, because I know you care about children, but I don’t think this is your finest hour.’”