Having spent Christmas in the company of young people, some of whom were actually under 30, I am going to have to face up to the fact that I am an old fart. A proper old fart.

I drink alcohol, milk from an actual cow and my bread is packed full of old-fashioned gluten, which makes my tummy swell up. I used to think this meant I was full from eating lots of yummy bread but now I’m wondering whether I too am allergic to the stuff; why else is my tummy so fat?

I’m confused. I was also confused over the fuss about the “Fairytale of New York” lyrics as sung by Ness and Uncle Bryn, but then I was also confused by why so many people were watching Gavin and Stacey on Christmas Day.

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