These are happy days for Thomas the Tank Engine. Labour has promised to slash rail fares. It might be the biggest boost for the Island of Sodor’s cheerful engines since a TV executive thought there might be some legs in adapting the series of children’s books written by the Reverend Wilbert Awdry for the small screen. 

Suddenly the railways, which have been a mess ever since a previous privatisation-obsessed Tory government turned the Fat Controller into a fat cat executive on a bonus package that doesn’t so much as mention passengers, are the belles of the political ball! How about a celebratory choo choo? 

But is this a sensible policy? Oi, pipe down you at the back, complaining that it’s hardly even worth asking that question in a Britain where political debate has descended into the Great British Bulls*** Bake Off. 

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