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Dust off your rolling pin and sharpen your pun skills, because The Great British Bake Off is back. Tonight, the 10th series of the baking competition kicked off on Channel 4 (its third year on the network, after it controversially outbid the BBC). One particularly hysterical tabloid headline predicted that it was going to be filled with "filthy innuendos and a simulated sex act". But to be honest, all things considered, it was fairly low in double-entendres. 

Judges Prue Leith and Paul Hollywood reprised their roles, as did hosts Noel Fielding and Sandi Toksvig.

Just for fun, and with absolutely nothing to go on except their photos and a short bio, I predicted that this year's winner will be Michael. And he's still going strong(ish).

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Here are the talking points from tonight's episode. 

Dan leaves

It looked certain that Jamie –  poor little Jamie, so young his voice broke midway through the episode – would be leaving, but it all boiled down to Dan’s terrible signature bake. Now Jamie has the chance to “prove to people I can actually bake”. Maybe he could tag team in with his twin and give it another shot? 

Michelle is star baker

“I’m just so proud,” said the print shop administrator, whose carrot cake was “possible the best cake” Prue has ever eaten. Though I’m fairly sure Prue has said that too many times to be taken completely seriously. 

It’s one of the youngest years ever

There is barely a grey hair in sight this year. The 28-year-olds are veritable veterans. But the very youngest contestants, who were barely into double figures when Bake Off began, have proven themselves. Well, sort of. 20-year-old Jamie struggled, coming last in the technical challenge, and having to start again in the showstopper, but he managed to scrape through. And Henry, who’s also 20, is sailing ahead. The children are the future

The euphemisms

Bake Off has always been a show laden with double-entendres, but it is my belief that Paul should be banned from participating in them. Particularly when they’re directed at women. After becoming confused by Helena’s accent and thinking she was making a “furry garden” instead of a "fairy garden", he then asked, a glint in his cold, blue eye, “So how big is your, er, FAIRY garden?” No. Fire him. 

Nerves get the better of everyone

Week one is always the most nerve-wracking. It’s a wonder the contestants don’t collapse into a heap in the corner and/or run off into the woods to start a new life. “I can’t do it.” “The worst has happened,” and “I’ve dropped it,” are just three of the sentences uttered tonight. There was a dropped cake, a collapsed house, missing eggs…. Pull yourselves together, bakers. 

No one should ever try and make caramel. 

It crystallises. It does. It just does. 

Remind yourself of this year's contestants and follow along with all the action from the tent live below:

With just a few hours to go before episode one begins, here are this year's brand new bakers
Drum roll please...
Henry, 20, a student from Durham
 
 
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Phil, 56, an HGV driver from Rainham
 
 
Rosie, 28, a veterinary surgeon from Somerset 
 
 
Alice, 28, a Geography teacher from London
 
 
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Michael, 26, a theatre manager and fitness instructor from Stratford-upon-Avon 
 
 
Priya, 34, a marketing consultant from Leicester 
 
 
Helena, 40, an online project manager from Leeds
 
 
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David, 36, an international health adviser from London 
 
 
Michelle, 35, a print shop administrator from Tenby, Wales 
 
 
Amelia, 24, a fashion designer from London 
 
 
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Jamie, 20, a part-time waiter from Surrey 
 
 
Dan, 32, a support worker from Rotherham 
 
 
Step, 28, a shop assistant from Chester
 
 
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Phew, and with just 30 minutes till kick off, that's this year's contestants. Stay tuned for live updates when the show begins.
Here we go. I hope you've all got some shots at the ready for the first mention of a soggy bottom.
I just realised there are 13 contestants, AKA a baker's dozen! OK, that's less interesting than I thought it would be when I started writing this.
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Who came up with this?
Is it just me or is Paul's wisdom always along the lines of, "Too cooked, and it'll be too cooked, too raw, it'll be too raw, but get it right, and it'll be right."

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