TV preview: The Great British Bake Off returns and promising BBC drama Bodyguard launches

Hollywood and co pitch the tent once more and it's basically just 'Celebrity Big Brother' but with bigger egos and soggier bottoms

Sean O'Grady
Thursday 23 August 2018 14:18 BST
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Nine series in, has 'Bake Off' passed its sell by date?
Nine series in, has 'Bake Off' passed its sell by date?

Yes, it’s done and, no, you can’t just stick it back in the oven and forget about it because you can’t face it, Sean. Now eat it all up. Go on. Even Noel Fielding looking like a lurcher that knows it’s about to be put down.

Sorry. Flashback to last year there.

It’s the The Great British Bake Off, trying to rise to the occasion in its ninth series, and second with Channel 4, with all the grace of an eternal souffle.

Something like that, anyway. There’s no change in the basic ingredients: eggs, Sandi Toksvig, flour, Paul Hollywood, sugar, strawberry jam, fresh cream, Prue Leith, icing sugar, marzipan, baking powder, Noel Fielding and, of course, the GBBO tent thing containing the studio/kitchen. Sorry, “tent of dreams”.

Think of it, then, as Love Island but with more chest hair and (even) bigger meringues. Imagine it as Celebrity Big Brother (still on, by the way) but with bigger egos and soggier bottoms. Like The Apprentice with less money and more doughnuts. That’s it, it’s coming together. Now introduce the biscuits, gradually stirring them in to make them the base for this, the first round of GBBO, and don’t forget to make sure there are lashings of Yorkshire folk too, to give it a more homely air.

Sit back and enjoy over the next ten weeks, or until you feel nauseous.

Over the limit: Adrian Chiles probes his relationship with booze

Now, talking of over indulgence, we have Adrian Chiles telling us what a big boozer he is on Monday might, which, as we all know, is the least likely night of the week to find us in the pub or wine bar. For documentary Drinkers Like Me, he’s garnered a good deal of advance publicity for himself: all that stuff about him knocking back 100 units of alcohol a week. I’m still not quite sure what a unit is, but I’m guessing it’s more than I can manage, so fair play to the old boy.

Looking at Chiles I can’t say I’m all that surprised to hear these revelations. With a face that looks like a cushion that has recently played host to Eric Pickles’ backside, he does seem the type; but he was, is, always had been the consummate broadcaster with a supreme knack for getting to the nub of any issues that he finds in front of him, from the housing crisis to the Baggies’ (West Bromwich Albion) woeful away record to who’s getting the next round in.

Anyway he’s gone to the trouble of going to some experts to find out if he’s drinking too much(!), and, much more to the point how many “normal” people find themselves wandering into unknowing near-alcoholism just by enjoying what they imagine to be the odd pint after work and a few glasses of wine with their supper. A timely show, I should say, with the only drawback that Chiles’ own successful career proves how much you can get away with, Mind you, newspapermen have known all about that for many a year. Same again, then.

Promising start: Keeley Hawes and Richard Madden in the ‘Bodyguard’

The Bodyguard looks like the kind of cliche ridden rubbish drama you’ll expect to surface of prime time Sunday nights on BBC1, coming as it does after the ultimate cliche fest of 2018 thus far, Poldark.

Er, except it isn’t. It’s all about a hunky close protection officer (Richard Madden) who is assigned to the home secretary (Keeley Hawes) at a time of heightened terrorism. You can imagine what happens next, which is good because what I think you probably imagine probably happening next doesn’t in fact happen next, which is, I think you’ll agree, the secret to a good drama. Or at least not yet. The first episode is extremely promising, but we have six to get through and I’d be even more impressed if writer Jed Mercurio (Line of Duty) manages to maintain such a high standard throughout. So far it hasn’t bombed.

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I wouldn’t want to sound like some sort of mawkish weirdo, but thus far I’ve been disappointed in Saving Lives at Sea, the cam-on-the-head documentary about the work of the Royal National Lifeboat Institution, because it contains so little about lives not saved at sea. It sometimes appears like propaganda for the RNLI, but overly so, so that it ends up looking like propaganda and just a bit unrealistic. Still, it’s a very good cause and you can, if you like, just bung them a few quid and skip the show. I would.

Apart from that lot there aren’t that many shows of note, to be honest. Obviously you need to avoid Eight Go Rallying: The Road to Saigon, because it’s got Noel Edmonds in and, even with his wife diluting the Noelishness of the thing that’s too much of old tidy beard for me.Being stuck with him in a Renault 5 or whatever it is in southeast Asia... can you imagine?

I can, though, continue to recommend the surprisingly rewarding £10k Holiday Home, Julia Bradbury’s holiday home buying adventure in Portugal, with all the potential value for money out there (though, given the way Brexit is going she’ll soon be able to get a £10k house in Sunderland).

Friday night sees an important Women’s World Cup qualifier between England and Wales, looking to make some progress in their quest for the France 2019 tournament.

‘Peng Life’: Elijah Quashie (centre) with twins Nelson and Wilson 

Plus the last episode of Peng Life with Elijah Quashie, YouTube’s chicken (shop) connoisseur who we really should see much more of.Once again he asks, do you need to spend bags to get yourself some peng?

The Great British Bake Off (Channel 4, Tuesday 8pm); Drinkers Like Me (BBC2, Monday 9pm); Bodyguard (BBC1, Sunday, Monday 9pm); Saving Lives at Sea (BBC2, Tuesday 8pm); Eight Go Rallying: The Road to Saigon (BBC2, Sunday 9pm); 10k Holiday Home (ITV, Tuesday 7.30pm); Women’s World Cup Qualifier: Wales v England (BBC2, Fri 7.45pm); Peng Life (Channel 4, Friday 11.05pm)

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